Show me the money

The recent news that Facebook has purchased the domain fb.com for $8.5 million just goes to further emphasise the fact that some people have far too much money.

Still, it’s good to see companies like that splashing out a bit. Firstly because, according to the press, there is apparently no money left in the world but also because, in my experience, the people who have money are usually the ones who are less likely to spend it.

You all know the kinds of people I’m referring to. They are the loud pompous ones in meetings who will bang on about their new BMW Z3 whilst showing off their Rolex watch, and then quibble over a £30 invoice. The same people who will phone up and ask you to do work for them and expect you to do it for free. And think it’s perfectly acceptable to ignore invoices and statements for a year.

It’s always difficult to demand money off people but it needs doing sometimes; if only so I can afford to put food on my plate. Given this alleged recession we are in, I happen to find myself spending more money than ever. As well as continuing to pay a mortgage of a squillion quid a month, I’m also getting a new kitchen built this year. I’m also planning an extension on the house. As well as that, I’m also getting married in November and that not only means a huge expense for the wedding itself, it also means that I’ll soon have a wife and that means I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life.

On the business side of things, Datapartners is continuing to prosper nicely. We are shortly moving offices and employing a new member of staff. Over the next year or so, the plan is to build a purpose built office. This, of course, involves huge personal expense and, although it is an investment opportunity and I expect to make a good return over time, I am left wondering how the hell I am going to pay for all these exciting developments.

I have therefore decided to purchase a cricket bat. Any payment stragglers will get a visit from my colleague, Mr Big. Failing that, I will email Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg and ask if he’s got a spare $8.5 million he can lend me.